Ugh. I can't sleep. I predicted that maybe I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight so prior to going to bed I made myself some sleepytime tea. It didn't work. The silly thing is that I am always tired when a bunch of us are hanging out and watching a movie or something. It'll be like 8pm and I will get this overwhelming urge to bail on the hangout and just go to bed. But then there are nights like these and I wonder, why aren't I doing something useful instead of trying to trick myself into sleep? Also, I could probably afford to turn on some lights, typing in the dark is sort of tricky-like.
I have been developing some alarming night-time habits lately. The other morning I woke up to find an empty bottle of gatorade beside my bed and a bright blue tongue. Let me clarify, the tongue wasn't beside my bed but actually in my mouth. It was my tongue. Anyway here's the problem. First of all I don't remember any gatorade bottles lounging beside my bed the night before. Also, I don't remember drinking any gatorade in the middle of the night. So either one of my cunning roomates placed the empty bottle next to my bed in the middle of the night and sneakily dropped blue food coloring into my mouth whilst I was sleeping, I ate a smurf in the middle of the night, or I downed the entire 710ml bottle of gatorade in my sleep. Once on Oprah I saw obese people who blamed their obesity on sleep-eating. They claimed they would wake up in the middle of the night only to find themselves snuggled up to an empty bag of chips or with ketchup smeared all over their face. They never remembered actually consuming the food but the evidence spoke for itself...massive weight gain, empty cupboards, nawed off corners of the bed frame...
Surely you can see how I find all of this a little concerning. It starts with gatorade, something seemingly harmless, a little bit of electrolyte replenishing, but it ends with me being 600 lbs and polishing off entire chocolate cakes and tubs of ice cream all while enjoying a full eight hours of undisturbed sleep. I guess I will have to start sleeping in the stocks before this gets out of hand.
J.Wilgus
3 comments:
Were you with me when I saw a show about the man who caused a major traffic accident by getting into his car and driving while still asleep?
Um no I never saw the sleep-driving man...although minus the whole accident part that would have been amazing to see!
Liane you are a genius! Not just for sleep-eating but also there should be a beeper on the fridge that tells you you've had too much food for the day. So to prevent people from obesity the fridge just goes into automatic lockdown mode. Perhaps we could install the beepers on our cupboards as well. Oh the possibilities!
Jenna dear Jenna...
I don't think you have anything to worry about.
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